I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
