Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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