I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
