I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
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