I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize