When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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