Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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