This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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