cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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