my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
lol hangovers are for mortals.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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