WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
