OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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