You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
