Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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