The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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