Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
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i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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