She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
