I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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