Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
