You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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