I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
