you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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