Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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