Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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