It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize