I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize