I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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