No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
