they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
