Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
