No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
