so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
