Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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