Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
