3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize