Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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