just come out here and I will go home with you...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
