so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
All the doctor said was why
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
