When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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