You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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