im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
