Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
