I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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