i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
