You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love you.
Bad choice
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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