do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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