Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
