You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
