idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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