I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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