I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
