Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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