The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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