so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
