Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
