KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
