just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
