So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
honey bunches of taint.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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